Nip...not tuck!

I know that the last thing a man wants to do on a lovely day is sit in a hospital room waiting for his daughter to be done with a "female" surgery, but that man is obviously not my dad. My dad is a patient man that, although he himself is recovering from a life threatening illness, still manages to sit for SIX HOURS doing crosswords, sudoku, and catching up on current events with a smile on his face. My dad is better than your dad. Highlights of the day...

**TMI and ICK ALERT, NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED**
1. It was teeth cleaning day for the handicapped kids, and although they are the only ones lucky enough to get completely sedated for a simple teeth cleaning, they had severe anxiety and were screaming for help from their rooms. I love those kids. They crack me up.
2. The nurse revealed AFTER her first attempt to start an IV line on me that she had spent 30 years as an RN in Mother/Infant and had only very recently done her first IV. After attempt number 2, which included hitting a nerve, she scooted out of the room to find backup. Attempt number 3 from nurse number 2 included her actually getting a vein and proclaiming loudly that she'd hit a gusher and promptly started mopping up my blood. Oh my stars!
3. Shortly before they knocked me out and just after lifting my gown so that my "hooha" was out there for all to see, my Step-Mom's ex-husband (my anesthesiologist) decided to step in and wish me luck one last time. Nobody in the room but me thought that was awkward...not even the guy shaving my nether-regions. Wowzers!
4. I sobbed like a baby in the recovery room and then pledged my undying love to the sweet nurse Brenda, after she calmed me down with Ativan, Demorol, and Dilaudid. Dilaudid's a heck of a drug.
5. First peepee: I stand up and see the the reddish brownish stuff they rub all over you before they cut in, which looks like a combination of blood and diarrhea and nearly pass out. Then my dad gets a sly smile on his face and says demurely "Chelsey, are you sure you know how to wipe?" Once I got to the bathroom I laughed so hard I thought my belly button was going to pop open. OWWWEEEE!

All in all the day was both action packed and semi-successful. Kat's staying with me for the next few days, kickin it and watching DVD's, she's already the best babysitter a girl could ask for. Especially since her day is now comprised of propping my butt in the air, helping me go potty, bathe, and escorting my on walks around the yard so as I can get rid of the most painful gas in the history of man. KUDOS!
**END OF ALERT, END OF ALERT, END OF ALERT**

On a much lighter note, Dad and Grandpa gave me the most beautiful priesthood blessing I've ever received. Faith and Hope are powerful tools, coupled with the even stronger faith of two stalwart and loving men, it's a true healer. I know I will get better in every aspect of my life, physical, emotional, and spiritual. I know this because my dad asked for it. How can one woman be so blessed as to have so many men that love and care for me?